electrojazz

last night, longish duets between a laptop and a jazz drummer made my weekend.

thanks kieran hebden (four tet) & steve reid for bringing two genres together in soul oscillating fluidity.  the whole time, you could tell they were really feeling the music they were creating and having fun with the merging of sounds as they kept looking over at each other like, "yea, we rock!"  mmm yea, it was a good show.

confucius say -

we have a narrow little drawer in our kitchen full of fortune cookies.  it's the drawer where we keep the tin foil, and for some reason, leftover soy sauce from chinese take out.  since no one's been eating those complimentary little things, they've been accumulating in there alongside the reynolds wrap and yi pin packets.  

so i told myself i should reach in there and crack one open to see what kind of badly written destiny was foreseen for me - confidently printed in bright red ink, snuggled between two assuring smiley faces across that familiarly sized strip.  and of course, check out my lucky numbers & learn some chinese :)

i guess the future's mysterious, so we're more likely to believe in, or at least ponder, a darling piece of paper we had to work a little to get to.  i'm not saying that anyone takes fortune cookies seriously (except maybe in freaky friday), but i think most of us look forward to reading that little bit of insight about you and deciding if it's absurd or "so true."  

watch as your friends read them aloud; humans are so curious about themselves.  what a fun little phenomenon.  we're naturally always eager to learn and know more about the self.

thirsty boots

BLUR

a thing that cannot be  heard or seen clearly.

hazy to the eyes and mind.

an indistinct memory

or impression of events

typically because they happened very fast.

"and although it seems heaven sent, we ain't ready, to see a black president"

today, I'm hoping 2pac was wrong.

...But when his Democratic crowds jeer at the mere mention of Senator John McCain, he offers a gentle scolding, "You don't need to boo, you just need to vote."

wildcat

Living in NYC:

Positive: i picked up a video game proposal out of some recycling, and now i know what video game proposals look like; their formats, proposed budgets & milestones.  learning random shit by picking through the trash; its like some hobo intellectual fantasy.

Negative: i get texts that go like this: "guys just a warning - the crips are having an initiation this weekend, which will involve attacking a woman"

...

"I feel the pain of fleeting joy."

-Nadja, the postmodern vampire

...

how often do you see butterflies?

oxygenation

from sap green to yellow ochre and burnt sienna.  autumn leaves are dynamos.  and awfully pretty too.

oh, say something cinematic! ... or become a tragic figure.

you know what i miss right now?  sitting on il mio balcony and eatin some fuh-resh formaggio con my babizzles only worrying about what kind of wine we wanted a glass of that night.  you know what else i miss?  when sketching the view out that balcony was my actual homework.

are we going to get somewhere? or are we just going?

what do we do when we get to the gym and all the machines are taken?

we hide vincenza's water bottle in a patch of bushes and decide to run up to times square as our keys jingle jangle in our pockets.

what do we do when we realize we're ridiculous?

we giggle and reroute to the uptown gym, savoring spontaneity and the understanding that comes without words.

what do we do when we get lost in conversation and stay much much longer than planned?

we hope we're not too sore tomorrow and notice how the sidewalk between 8th and 10th glitters.

what do i do when i realize i haven't eaten dinner and the shower's occupied?

i fork cold refried black beans and log in to blogger.

...

just started:  On the Road - Jack Kerouac

...the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to five, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say  a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes "Awww!"

my wondrous life

The weekend is a beautiful time.  It's afternoons are spent sipping iced coffee on a park bench next to the village drunk, searching madly for a place to buy a bottle of whisky in the rain and sharing inconspicuous city spots with discarded condoms, crack needles and a young kid practicing his pitch.  It's evenings, wandering happily through lights and buzz.  The nights, going round and round on a ferris wheel and sloppily missing almost every shot at pool.  The mid-mornings, lingering over unconventional but cozy brunches at 'Indian Taj' and walking slow in the sun.  

On a Sunday night, I lie awake, trying to memorize every little thing... and all of the moments in between.

...

Oscar - who never defaced a book in his life - circled one panel three times in the same emphatic pen he used to write his last letters home.  The panel where Adrian Veidt and Dr. Manhattan are having their last convo.  After the mutant brain has destroyed New York City; after Dr. Manhattan has murdered Rorschach; after Veidt's plan has succeeded in "saving the world."

Viedt says: "I did the right thing, didn't I?  It all worked out in the end."

And Manhattan, before fading from our Universe, replies: "In the end?  Nothing ends, Adrian.  Nothing ever ends."

"come on legs, come on feet, i'm just trying to make a little bit of history"

its stupid times like when i don't care enough about bullying my little brother out of my favorite couch anymore that i realize even though i'm happy to be home - i'm detached.  my parents think i'm living here after graduation.  so cute.

but really, i've led a pretty babied life.  my parents, however strict - have done everything and more for me, and i understand how lucky i am.  all they want in return is someone i'm clearly not.  i do feel indebted to them, obliged to be at least satisfactory in their eyes.  but i can't hide so much of who i am for four straight months in a row again.  yes friends, i'm talking about next summer already, summer 2009 - the last guaranteed time of youth, freedom and sunshine for us '10 grads.

the plan:

bike & build 

inspiration:

my amazing friend, mo.  

i want to see the country, from east to west.  you know - open skies and mountains - all the way to the pacific ocean.. on a bike!  and you can't really understand how you live until you see how other people do it.

only one thing's stopping me from pedaling onwards...  

studying abroad felt just as impossible, but i managed to pull that off as an academic thing.  i don't think my parents grasp this sort of education, and it's such a crutch sometimes.  i'm scared of missed opportunities.

when, alright *if* (trying to be optimistic!), bike & build fails, i'll get a job as a waitress and learn about the different people in the world that way.  i think it's the kind of job everyone should have at least once in their life.  i know it'll be hard and often miserable, that i should maybe get an externship like i originally planned - but hey, it's not like i'm going to have trouble getting a job with a BSN under my belt.  looking back, that extra step or sacrifice never really brought me proportional rewards anyway.  i have the rest of my life to be career-oriented.  and i plan to live long.  right now, the young crazy years are running out and i need to do something i'll never have the chance to do again.  something i can only do now.

but then again, i change what i think about things around every 4 months.  if you told me in a year i will have cut off all my hair, dyed it purple and quit school to be a groupie - i would believe you.

sustenance: the maintaining of someone or something in life or existence

hey!  remember that sidewalk chalk?  of course you do, it was only a blog ago!  every time the rain washes them away, the colors are religiously replaced.  the walkway's already been three different patterns this week.

due to the mistake of forgetting my pb&j at broome, i finally ran into the elusive man behind it all.  he was a kinda skinny, scruffy looking dude, and didn't quite notice me when i stopped behind his hunched body for a second or two.  i told him i loved it, and he mumbled a quick "thanks."  i couldn't really make out a face from my height, any potential expression was hidden under his loose wool hat, but after i'd walked a few steps past, he looked up to shout a second "thank you!" at me.  if i catch him again, i'll ask him what it means.

 - - 

a soho resident's garbage is a student's treasure.

first, it was winged victory.  tonight, sarah spotted this mirror.  or perhaps, it spotted her and she took notice of it's parallel gaze.  we were just walking home from class and picked it up on mercer.  it was the first walk home in a while we decided it was okay not to get right back and work.  after sarah picked up the mirror, some invisible spark occurred and we took it, reflective face out, on a longwinded walk.  the fatigue of the day faded and the city was transformed as we caught stares and city lights in our magic mirror.  how strange to look at sarah, opposite myself, with the mirror against her chest and simultaneously see both her and the sights that lay before her.  how interesting to catch some people hold on to the image of their reflection for an extra second.  how beautiful to see epic aesthetics captured on a flat rectangle.

- -

here's allison wade at work:

it reminded me of a pre-wedding tradition in sikh/punjabi culture:

- -

mmmmm fresh, hot art!

yes, those frites are A-R-T.  at least i believe they are.  john bonafede sat outside, peeling each potato.  each skin became an elongated pixel, a stroke in a drawing.   each potato was crinkle cut and deep fried.  the altered potato was placed in paper trays (signed by the artist) and given away for free!  a medium was shaped to change it's texture and context - and ultimately, was consumed by the viewer.  when art leaves the aesthetic system and enters another, does it stop being art?  do the dimensions of the installation end in your stomach?!?

"Millions of people do not have sustenance to function properly.  While we hunger for good art others hunger for what can simply keep them alive... Please digest this reality as you enjoy this aesthetic morsel."

 - Bonafede

- - 

now watching: my live video of mi viejo!

rrrrrratatatataatataaaaat is amazing.

- -

needle + syringe + sooks

i can give subcutaneous, intramuscular, and intradermal injections!!

do you see the beauty in dirt?

now smelling: egyptian musk

now playing: "i've seen it all"

bjork - what about china?  have you seen the great wall?

thom yorke - all the walls are great, if the roof doesn't fall!

-

earlier this year, during my crazy fantasy time in europe (that i now have difficulty believing wasn't a dream), i was fortunate enough to see The Winged Victory of Samothrace at the Louvre.

i don't know about you, but if i didn't have a head, i don't think i'd be too great.  even headless, La Victoire de Samothrace is so powerful and memorable.  i can't place myself in the moment directly before or after this photo, but recall distinctly my time standing beneath it.    and hey, apparently its striking enough to be noticed next to a garbage can during a milk run!  check out what we saved:

we'll probably paint it outrageous colors then put it in our living room :)

- 

i want to tell you about this point on lafayette street where someone has outlined in chalk all the sidewalk cracks in crazy colors.  i don't know what they were trying to do, if anything at all, but i love it.  the chalk is amplifying something that's supposed to be an imperfection and transforming it into this pleasing aesthetic image.  Suddenly, those vulnerable breaks on the surface have become the better part of the street. 

-

within the last hour, i've sampled lollypops that cost more than a meal, had my hands scrubbed with sea salt from israel, and saw old men practice ballroom dance.  just a few things that happened during my quick trip to get some frozen yogurt and back.  downtown is sensual paradise.

still no life.

i would consider myself acquainted with the subway guy.  it has gotten to the point were he had our favorite flavors, fresh baked and waiting for us:

"what if he hates us and spit in our cookies."

- - -

i love walking to school.  i hate crossing the intersection of cleveland place and kenmare.  it's a two-way, and those are always more difficult to jaywalk.  even while the bright white "walk" symbol's on, when an automobile wants to make a right turn, it's a showdown of pedestrian versus motor vehicle guts.  reality check: if you don't stop, your fearless guts could end up splattered across a city street.  lovely.  yesterday, i saw a man that had just been hit by and dragged under the tires of a delivery truck turning onto lafayette off kenmare.  oof.  when i approached the scene, he was being carefully lifted by six people to be put into an ambulance.  i cross that street several times a day, pretty carelessly.  when i looked over at this man - his blood spilt in a small pool underneath him, the injured body failing to show movement besides the slight rise and fall of his chest... i don't know, it was just such a weird experience.  i felt so oddly connected to him.  of course, i could picture myself as him.. a pedestrian crossing the street - but i could also imagine myself on the medical half of things, which is a new feeling.  i really hope he's okay.

- - -

on a much lighter note, i hear james franco is now attending nyu.

i heard through the grapevine he hangs out at think coffee.  you know where to find me!!

bitches ain't shit

do you live / have you ever lived  in suburbia?

if you answered yes to this question, it is very likely that your tongue has encountered the sweet, sugary flavors of a cheaply priced subway cookie.

what is so wonderful about nyc is that after being disappointed by the cookie cost to cookie size ratio at the famous bakery less than a block away we arrived at after entering our zip code and "cookies" into google, sarah and i pranced our collective two dollars and seventy five cents over to the familiar mediocrity across the street known as subway.

this journey didn't involve just cookies.  no nyc wandering is without unexpected action packed thrills nestled within it.  if you disagree, you weren't looking around.  for example, the other day i saw a man pushing a stroller... while riding a unicyle pretty skillfully.  man, i've seen a rastafarian thank a religious asian for his biblical spiel in the park.  but back to tonight.  there were some fancy looking people drinking wine on some couches i could never afford outside a furniture store.  so of course we stopped for a few to plant our classy boxer clad asses on one of those comfy thangs and look out at the san gennaro festival two streets over.  and the sky.  it must have been a full moon, but i'm too lazy to check, so i can only guarantee it was something close to one at least.  this moon tonight, it was illuminating the many many clouds surrounding it - and this whole lovely scene was tucked neatly between some high rise buildings.  life is great.

several stares from hip passer-bys later, the cookie calling came back.  we enter aforementioned sandwich establishment to find that only old cookies remain.  you know, the sad cookies left after a long day.  the flavors no one wanted.  we asked if they were currently baking more cookies cause we're optimistic like that.  the guy is all, "yes!"  and then he's all, "actually, not really."  and then he said, "if you wait thirty minutes, we can make them."  so since we live two minutes away, we tell him we'll be back.  he, obviously taken aback by our lack of a life, then admits he can do no such thing.  we settle for freshly nuked cookies and the feeling of an adventure. 

why did i write this?  because i never want to forget it.  but more so because i'm on a sugar high and have no life.  none whatsoever.

all bodies rise

 Yoga to the People:

the best part is when they ring the gong at the end.  the soothing reverberations feel as though they belong to your body.

flexibility will come to me.  toes will be reached.  with patience.

girl sailor

you really have to use the word "waterfall" carefully because people like me will go and instinctively picture niagra falls, or at least something beautiful.

not this:

i don't like your $15 million dollar installation art, olafur eliasson.  i get they're supposed to be kinda industrial looking and there are some bigger ideas at work, but in general, i don't think the whole nature/city clash is very original for such a big project.  i don't know, i'm not really feelin the nyc waterfalls.

but what is cool is that i took that picture on Pioneer, a 185  year old schooner.  i even helped raise the sails (which gets pretty tough at a point)!  it was such a gorgeous day, and i always love seeing manhattan from afar.  its the only time i can even begin to try and grasp it fully.

in other news:

- coldstone has a new nutter butter flavored ice cream.

- my camry and i were entertained by the company of a tow truck driver for the third time in less than three months.  i think it might really be dead this time :'( .

- i saw rachel dratch walking down broadway, and i said hello.  debbie downer!

- gregg (yes, with two g's) at foot locker convinced me to buy sneakers that are worth 710 dumplings at my favorite dumpling place while he told me about his ambitions to be the guy that collects the evidence in a crime scene.  (ahhh i needed them for clinical)

- ben & jerry's has a new peanut butter cookie dough flavored ice cream.

100% natural

this is a puffin:

jamie and i saw some at the central park zoo last week!

this is peanut butter:

i eat it all the time!

this is peanut butter puffins:

if you didn't already know, its the best tasting and one of the most healthy cereals ever.  and if you did know, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!

yea i definitely just went into the kitchen to get the box to like have it next to me while i write this and sarah was there and she's all "you're going to write a blog about them aren't you" and i was kind of embarrassed and almost didn't BUT THEY'RE SO GOOD!!

ps - my suite is kickass.  we're situated in between little italy and soho, just north of chinatown and 15 minutes walking distance south of campus.  classes so far are overwhelming, but exciting.  today was my first clinical in my nyu purple scrubs and it was amazing.  i got up at like 6 something today to get there.  i'm watching myself and everyone around me turn into real people who do really real things!  scary i guess, but cool at the same time.

here's a picture of me in my bed, whilst moving in.  ha.

upreet took it, while she was helping me (aka lying on the next bed over and watching me).

i will post more pictures once we're all settled in, it's a great, huge place and even though it's the most dorm-like of everywhere i've lived, it is undoubtedly the homey-est :)

puppy love

i am in love with reflections and the way light and colors bounce around in the world surrounding us.

clouds in a puddle, street lights on the pavement, the setting sun's hues on a building face,

the manhattan skyline upon a larger than life balloon animal dog!!  

i finally got around to jeff koons' outdoor exhibit at the top of the met.  it was really fun; you would see images of yourself, other people, the sky, central park, and buildings all over the sausage-y appendages  of Balloon Dog.

i thought Coloring Book was most confusing.

it seems transparent at first, but it's actually a mirror

my eyes want to believe the clouds in that picture are continuous

carry me in

i was ready for an ice cold ocean, but as that first wave collapsed onto the shore, it's foam was warm and welcoming at my feet.  the beach is so crowded during the day, i forgot what it was like to stand in the water with no sight between you and the horizon but water and sky, no sounds but waves and wind.  it makes me feel like i'm at the edge of the world.. just me, alone as the sand rushes away beneath my feet.

this is the sound of settling

McCarren Park Pool

Williamsburg, Bklyn

June 10, 2008

there was a tranquility brought on by the weight of the heat.  all the dialogues around me bled into one.  the evening felt easy and casual sitting on the chipping paint of the old pool floor.. creating the perfect outdoor setting to see death cab for cutie!  woo!

however...

at approximately nine thirty, the band lost a sudden discourse with the sky and the clouds.  after several days of nearly one-hundred degree weather, tuesday night, the sky above greyed, opened up, and finally dropped globs of relief. 

they were in the middle of "the sound of settling," which is an ok song.  as the wind picked up, the song did too, gaining a new intensity.  it seemed like theatrics, as if it were all part of the show.. that is, until a lighting rig from above came swinging dangerously down and the band members abandoned their instruments and ran off the stage.

it all happened so fast.  one second i was chanting along, the next i was holding tightly onto hands and snaking through the crowd as monster rain drops hit my skin.  pausing for a little at the arched exit, i looked out at what could have easily been an 'end of the world' scene in a disaster flick.  the weather got so bad that we nicknamed the thunderstorm, with affection, "hurricane death cab."

some people ran to their cars while others sought shelter in nearby restaurants and bars.  we joined the herd treading towards the nearest subway station.  as we made our way, the wind strengthened.  i let down my hair, and it flew around to the tune of thunderclaps.  you just had to laugh between the lightning and shrieks as the raindrops multiplied in number and speed.  i felt so comfortable and free, so exhilarated and alive!  summer nights are incredible.  the shortened show didn't matter anymore.  stepping in puddles didn't either.  death cab's set lights couldn't hold up to nature's flashing ones, and it was the most rock and roll part of the night.

Jill Bolte Taylor's "stroke of insight"

is there something that will temporarily and safely paralyze the left hemisphere of my brain?

http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/jill_bolte_taylor_s_powerful_stroke_of_insight.html

plows

sometimes my mom and i go for a night stroll around our neighborhood.  tonight, we were joined by some other indian women on our street.  they get some exercise, they gossip.  i'm glad they have this, but in the back of my mind i'm thinking about how i so desperately don't want this to be me; the highlight of my day exchanging complaints and rumors with other women.  i fantasize of being adventurous till the end and rather than dying my hair, somehow looking good with my greys, as if they were beautiful evidence of my experiences in this world, rather than a decay of youth.

- 

the east coast is too crowded.  i want to be in a part of the country where the sky is big and you can see everything for miles and miles, even a patch of darkness over some place far away where it's raining. 

- 

one thing i'm definitely sick of doing is checking my phone for the time.  i've decided to buy myself a watch, when a special one finds me.

-

a puppy.  growing up, this is what i wanted most, but lately i've been dreaming about owning a short haired, pure black boy kitten.  there is something so handsome about male cats.  

-

today, i've been obsessed with female folkly indie rock.  like jenny owen youngs.  she's a real cool girl from jersey and i'm convinced that if we were to meet, we'd be friends.  well.. at least i would want to be.

and the lovely charlyn marie marshall, aka cat power.

-

"I've been talking a lot to Suki recently about just a blanket feeling of restlessness, that there's got to be something more. Something bigger to take on, something faster to chase, something more beautiful to see."  

- Jamie's Blog

yesss!  something is for sure missing, but we don't know what.  i think i need some sort of illumination that would let me see something i encounter everyday like i've never seen it before, or better yet.. enter some completely unknown realm.  i'm ready for it!  i neeeeeed it.  but where is it?

take two

using film that expired six years ago might have contributed to the lameness of my first roll with the manual.  i just got my pictures back from roll two!  with new film!  they're not that great, but better.  here's one of my favorites:more practice would help, but with camera batteries, film & developing, this is way too expensive of a process to happen too often :(

and of course, happpppy 4th!  i hope you have plans to go see some yanhua, what an article on nj.com has told me is the chinese word for fireworks, or "smoke flowers."  in some indian and pakistani languages, it's pataka.  :)

good fortune

i'd like to think i'm smarter than buying into cliche, oversimplified images - but alas, i have stereotyped the atlantic city boardwalk psychic.  when i went in for my cheap thrill, each piece of non gypsy-esque garment, every bulb brightly lighting the room (not the richly decorated, dim tent) together with the utterly ordinary face across from me so quickly and cleanly shattered the mystique i'd built up.  bummer.

a few hours later, we walked past another place, exchanged a look and a shrug and impulsively headed over.  i got another disillusioning setting but the SAME PSYCHIC READING!!  how could these two different people possibly spin me identical predictions?!!  so, second shock of the day: maybe palm reading is not complete bull.

revelation number three: my favorite place to chill is under vacant piers.

awesome photo cred goes to david.

now playing: Isreal Kamamawiwo'ole's cover of "Over the Rainbow"

a roll of the dice

occasionally picking my brother up after practice on weekdays brings me back to obhs.  it seems so small now!  but it felt so big!  i mean.. it had to be big right?  .. to contain my life within it's walls.  haah.

driving there is almost automatic.  before i know it, i'm turning in and i can't remember how i got there.  routine scares me.  well, no complaints about mindless regularity today because i was hit by another car on my way out.  there is a dent.  you can't see it, unless the light hits the right way.

i instantly think of two former classmates - killed not much earlier this year in the wake of a crash.  it is unsettling how many of my peers are no longer alive.  it's still kind of hard to believe these sort of tragic things happen around me, and that it could just as easily be me.  spontaneity adds the excitement to life, but it is not so fun when it comes at you in the form of over two tons of speeding, reckless metal.  then, it is the end of life.

today.. i saw it coming, i stopped and i honked, for a full three to four seconds.  i did everything i could to prevent it, but it happened anyway.  it's not a big deal; ms. i don't like to check my mirror when i back out's insurance will take care of the dent, that slight hollow which reminds me life is unpredictable.  spontaneous events, good or bad, remind me that life can't be planned out - it is not meant to be.

Molly Brose

hey y'all, just wanted to share some work by Molly Brose.  i find her style exquisite.

"The Night Owl"

"Nothing Missing"

"Soon as the Bell Rings"

"One thing I know - I can't wait for inspiration; I find it only when I'm working. My paper doesn't stay white for long. I immediately begin layering and layering the paint, creating textures, trying to keep it loose and spontaneous, letting the background evolve.

I have a plan, but I leave holes in it because I know my best pieces are those in which I surprise myself. Aesthetically, I have one simple goal: make it beautiful.

When it comes to my subjects, I choose them intuitively, I find them everywhere, and I'm always looking. The inspiration could be a photograph, an object, something I saw while walking through the city, a phrase in one of my old sketchbooks, a phone call, a disappointment. I'm trying to capture something. I'm trying to make it speak. In a way, all of my work is fueled by music. It's gotta be worthy of a song."

I am a lame writer.

Chuck Palahniuk is not.

http://www.chuckpalahniuk.net/features/shorts/guts

when i grow up...

i want to be o-ren ishii.

so what if uma kills her?  lucy liu is the baddest chick <3

seeds

i've just gotten back from a&p.  even a trip to the grocery store has become an illuminating experience as i no longer focus my energies on where i'm going, what big thing is next.  expectations can have destructive affects on experience.  i almost feel like i'm observing a stranger as she takes the time to notice the pattern of dimples on an orange, the bright white spot reflecting the fluorescent light overhead and the shadows her fingers cast before finally dropping it in the plastic bag.  

(since returning, i greatly sense the absence of the clumsy plastic that used to surround my fingers while i shop for produce.  it is strange to freely take part in picking through any number of foodstuffs, leaving bits of microscopic sukhdeep trails behind for another old bridge-ian to possibly ingest.  hopefully, the thoughtful european way of wearing a plastic glove while picking through nature's harvest carries over to the united states one day and i'll no longer feel like a pedophile of plant flesh.)

i attribute so many colors, textures, tastes, smells, and visual characteristics to this one object, this orange (and it's just a fruit)!  life is so multidimensional and complicated, that i sometimes feel like it's not even real - that i'm playing some sort of very well thought out virtual reality game made up by some intergalactic geeks with too much time on their hands.  everything that happens seems to be a show, one i am free to interpret for personal meaning.  truths dwell in every direction.  i can feel them, unmoved as i convolute them with my thoughts.  every puny moment of comprehension makes me.  

i must take the time to notice normality and grasp it's worth.

weight or lightness?

most people have been guessing that returning to old bridge has been a let down for me after four months in italy.  it hasn't, it has helped me see and find beauty everywhere i go.

kennedy park pond:

i read there today, and a bird pooped on my head.  i hear that it's good luck?

strawberry fields forever

haha i don't know, some brief messing around after watching Across The Universe.

"Nothing is real and Nothing to get hung about."

back in the u s of a

the money is green/uniform in size.

the people speak ENGLISH.  all of them.

oh, turnpike.

le mie cugine skipped their afternoon naps to surprise me at the airport!  haha i love how really little kids act like they don't know you for approximately 3 & 1/2 minutes after they haven't seen you in a while.

i ate chinese food.  greasy greasy chinese food.  ohh yea general tso's chicken baybe.

z100 is playing songs i haven't heard.  i want to make love in dis club.

my brother is updating me on pop culture.  lui piace his leather wallet from toscana.  success!

io manco parlare e ascoltare la lingua italiano (molto).

one of my parents put my sombrero atop my sculpture while i was gone.  they don't know it, but it looks awesome.

my bed is sweeeeeeet.

shower <3.

la mia momma <33333333333333333!!!

i haven't slept since tuesday.  ok, i got three hours wednesday.  i. am. delirious.

buonanotte!  .. goodnight.

- - - 

bro: i have to get up at 6:30 for a volleyball tournament tomorrow.

me: i'll get up 6:30 too.  PM.

bro: yea right i'm waking you up and we're going to the mall.

..reverse culture shock awaits!

the end of days

the orto botanico di firenze is on the opposite side of via micheli.  i pass it everyday.

when we got here, it was colorless.  now everything has bloomed.

mare montagna e mangiare

beach + hiking = perfect day in the cinque terre

that's of course a picture from the internet, i forgot my own camera.  i know i abuse that little button atop my instant gratification device, but i can't help it.  it's been said that people are increasingly becoming obsessed with capturing an image rather than experiencing it.  the pause to take a photo makes me look at my environment more carefully, consider it, and notice the small particularities i wouldn't have.  when you take a picture, you select a certain frame out of an infinite possibility of others, and so through the creative act of choice, pictures leave me with a tangible visual memory of the things that i happened to have noticed.

but a picture can't capture the way the sea glimmers, reflecting the sunlight in different sparkling spots each instant as the water moves.  that's for video cameras.  ;)

non mi piace lavorare

good thing i have a blag to victimize with my haphazard thoughts.

- wednesday was the last day of classes at la pietra.  traveling to the same guarded perimeter each day, i learned the meaning of the word campus.  while the setting awed me, being in a place open to only students and professors was slightly suffocating for me.  there was no uncertainty, no hope that i would see something surprising.  attending class felt mechanical, each day indistinguishable from the one before it.  i don't want to know who's turning the corner.  i want to wonder if it's going to be a student or someone dressed in a fuzzy purple pimp outfit.  :)

- vincenza just told me mariah carey and nick cannon are engaged.  he must be nearing thirty, but nick cannon will perpetually be sixteen in my mind.  and mariah carey is a nut case.  i would be terrified to live in the same house as her. 

- kelly just told me that there is this big deal about a picture of miley cyrus with her back exposed.  your tweenage daughter is not going to come to the conclusion she should have sex because she sees some of miley cyrus' back from an artistic photo shoot, i hope not.  jamie lynn's pregnancy, maybe.

- every rain drop that makes it my way from now on is going to invariably carry memories of florence.  to make sure of this, i bought a new umbrella.  it has got botticelli's primavera on it. 

museums are my life.  school hooked us up with "amici degli uffizi" cards.  we pay no entrance fees, we wait in no lines, and we walk arrrround the metal detectaz & the bouncers don't check us (alright maybe that last one only happened once). 

- i'm less depressed about getting older (a little).  we watched "l'ultimo bacio" for l'ultimo lezione d'italiano.  finding the person you want to spend the rest of your life with and having kids has got to be so rewarding.  maybe you're not doing crazy things all the time with your wild self anymore, but eventually finding happiness in a state of normalcy is the true revolution. 

- i like typing random words into itunes search then listening to all the songs that come up!

one week till amreeka.

textures and shades

a mix of obligation and curiosity led me to reggio emilia this past weekend.  turns out, i have some family in a town only two hours away.  people in mia famiglia are laid back.. or they are completely not.  these kinsfolk belonged to the latter category.  i am so thankful there was a big hearted eleven year old boy among them.  as soon as i stepped into the car with all my unease in tow, he turned his chubby cheeks towards me, parted his lips to ask, "didi, gum?"as he thrust a pack of daygum towards me without any sort of visible reservations.  it was refreshing to encounter one of those rare brilliantly open and trusting human beings, contained in a less than five foot frame.  little did he know that with that gesture, he offered me not just minty fresh breath but a venue to ease the tension.  among his interests were: tekken, drawing and 50 cent; we got along great.  the marriage of italian and punjabi created the most fun love child of a language (italijabi?  punjtalian??).  random, but i also think i saw the olympic torch while i was there, unless it was some other flame traveling with an entourage.

well, good or bad (or just awkward) everything is a learning experience in one way or another.  visiting a more average town, i got away from the posh italians that surround me and saw the REAL ones.  when i stepped foot into their local mall, i entered upon a collection of familiar stores and disenchantments for i could just have easily been in america.  i know i've complained about my lack of a decent shower, heat, dryer, siesta (all stores close 1-3 pm everyday), carrying groceries great lengths, mosquitoes etc etc - but i've become grateful for every last bit of it here in firenze.  if life abroad was exactly as i was used to, what would be the point?  culture shock is awesome, it triggers so many thoughts.  it forces me to ask myself the questions through which i reach a greater understanding of myself, even if i only make attempts at answers.  i've made conclusions about stuff i hadn't even really considered before.  i'd like to clarify the ambiguity of this "stuff" for you, but i lack those kind of articulation powers.

study abroad is good.

unleavened flat cracker bread

so i bet you american folk are enjoying your 70s weather and the sun kissing your skin as ya frolick about in your summer garb as mine sits in the back of my closet.. tragically untouched.  well, i have something you don't! 

MATZO!!!

i'm sure by now, the jewish bread shortage in the states has impacted your life oh so terribly.  (i kid)

In Palo Alto, Amy Kawadler said she had been told there was no matzo at the Mollie Stone's Market, which carries a wide selection of kosher food, but she noticed a lone box making its way down a checkout conveyor.

When she  inquired about it, the customer "grabbed it and pressed it against his chest and said, 'This is my matzo,' " Ms. Kwadler said.  He directed her to the section where one last box, of onion poppy matzo, remained, resting on the back of a bottom shelf.  "I ran with my hands in the air, pumping the box in my hand saying, 'I got the last box of matzo!' " Ms. Kawadler said.  "It was the talk of our seder."

i fucking love matzoh.  tonight we had a seder, ate: matzo soup, matzo pizza, and chocolate covered matzo, and read the haggadah.  not everything was kosher, but it's not like there's a passover popo.  i love stealing other people's cultures, i want to collect them all like pokemon.  i was also lucky enough to have my first easter this year with emily's family in munich.  how did a holiday involving such heavy chocolate consumption escape my celebration for so long?

while on the topic of chocolate, my personal contribution to tonight's dinner was making reeses cups!  scratch that, they were better than reeses, they were S-double O-K-I-E cups yo!

here's the ridiculously simple recipe, via pictures.  because you're smart, you'll figure it out.

you should go make some because when you eat them you'll feel so great.

craniofacial duplication

meet baby lali

she opens and shuts all four eyes at one time.

look at her dimple!

what does springtime smell like?

the sun has finally come out to play!  happy little daisies and dandelions popped up overnight everywhere, just to make me smile i think.

my life is trying new flavors of gelato by the arno (i've decided the best are: nocciola, bacci, and tiramisu), pretending to study on steps in piazza ss. annunziata while i take in political rallies and locals and drinking too many leisurely coffees where the italian futurists did.

i'm not in the real world.  i feel like i exist in another dimension, floating through life.  i don't know if this is good or bad.  should anything be endless, even if it is bliss?  this steamy affair with firenze is interrupted by thoughts of my long time lover, new york city.  part of me misses that lifestyle, the excitement of feeling like i'm keeping up with something and part of something big - even if it's all in my head.  part of me dreads the day i'll no longer be able to roam the cobblestone brunelleschi's dome casts in shadow like it ain't no thang.

i want to go back to new york, but i don't want to leave here.  i'm a greedy mofo.

faces passed

(all from life)

models

the professor

the departed

& GEORGE! 

meet george - the father of the demon children that fell in love with emily and i on the ferry.  i drew a picture of demon child two to calm her down after demon child one started erasing emily's drawings and dumping the eraser shavings on my head.  i waited for the mom to interfere, but she thought this was all so very hilarious.  ha ha ha.  demon child two and demon child birth-er insisted i sketch daddy.  i was quite sure george, who had been rather quiet and detached this whole time as his daughters planted themselves on complete stranger's laps yelping in greek, would not be down.  shock shock shock, to my awkward shock, he was really into it.  afterwards, he whipped out his hot pink digital camera to tell me about his life - even though we did not speak the same language.  he showed me his friends (woo!) and his motorcycle (vroom!), then asked me to include that in the drawing as well.  these people milked us for all we were worth - babysitters/personal artists.  and then, he spent a long while showing me a picture of him without his beard pointing back and forth between his current facial situation to his former chin in the photo and smiling, laughing and looking at me expectantly.  it was apparently crucial for me to grasp the fact that he did not always have a barba, that he perhaps switches back and forth upon whim and does indeed have fleshy skin under the hair.  afterwards, we proceeded to take 80430376 pictures with our new greek family upon their request.  the barbarian girls were convinced emily and i were sisters.  i guess i do resemble a 5'9'' lanky german girl with short brown hair.  i miss my devil children.  they used their limited english to tell me that they 'love me forever.'  the mom practically sat in my lap as well.  oh, grecians - you crazies.