occasionally picking my brother up after practice on weekdays brings me back to obhs. it seems so small now! but it felt so big! i mean.. it had to be big right? .. to contain my life within it's walls. haah.
driving there is almost automatic. before i know it, i'm turning in and i can't remember how i got there. routine scares me. well, no complaints about mindless regularity today because i was hit by another car on my way out. there is a dent. you can't see it, unless the light hits the right way.
i instantly think of two former classmates - killed not much earlier this year in the wake of a crash. it is unsettling how many of my peers are no longer alive. it's still kind of hard to believe these sort of tragic things happen around me, and that it could just as easily be me. spontaneity adds the excitement to life, but it is not so fun when it comes at you in the form of over two tons of speeding, reckless metal. then, it is the end of life.
today.. i saw it coming, i stopped and i honked, for a full three to four seconds. i did everything i could to prevent it, but it happened anyway. it's not a big deal; ms. i don't like to check my mirror when i back out's insurance will take care of the dent, that slight hollow which reminds me life is unpredictable. spontaneous events, good or bad, remind me that life can't be planned out - it is not meant to be.
