seeds

i've just gotten back from a&p.  even a trip to the grocery store has become an illuminating experience as i no longer focus my energies on where i'm going, what big thing is next.  expectations can have destructive affects on experience.  i almost feel like i'm observing a stranger as she takes the time to notice the pattern of dimples on an orange, the bright white spot reflecting the fluorescent light overhead and the shadows her fingers cast before finally dropping it in the plastic bag.  

(since returning, i greatly sense the absence of the clumsy plastic that used to surround my fingers while i shop for produce.  it is strange to freely take part in picking through any number of foodstuffs, leaving bits of microscopic sukhdeep trails behind for another old bridge-ian to possibly ingest.  hopefully, the thoughtful european way of wearing a plastic glove while picking through nature's harvest carries over to the united states one day and i'll no longer feel like a pedophile of plant flesh.)

i attribute so many colors, textures, tastes, smells, and visual characteristics to this one object, this orange (and it's just a fruit)!  life is so multidimensional and complicated, that i sometimes feel like it's not even real - that i'm playing some sort of very well thought out virtual reality game made up by some intergalactic geeks with too much time on their hands.  everything that happens seems to be a show, one i am free to interpret for personal meaning.  truths dwell in every direction.  i can feel them, unmoved as i convolute them with my thoughts.  every puny moment of comprehension makes me.  

i must take the time to notice normality and grasp it's worth.