and when it snows again, we'll take a walk outside and search the sky

currently craving:

bring it up and bring it in

I know, I know.. "hasn't sookie posted enough pictures of her view yet?"

Enough!  I promise this will be the last one!  (..unless I wake up to something as cool and delightfully eerie as a cloud spiraling and floating by below me and up Manhattan again)  I think I might have a cloud fascination.  It's getting pretty serious.

Ok, something else serious... seriously ridiculous ->

Britain wants to trim Santa's girth to send a nutritional message to kids.  Double you tee eff, how outrageously misguided.  Why don't they pour all that effort into something real like better quality school lunches or nutrition education in schools?  Sitting on a skinny Santa's lap is only going to land these kids with a "healthy" case of low spirits.  They need a nice, juicy thigh to make their Christmas wishes upon!  Long live milk & cookies for St. Nick!

flowers in the attic

..you don't need $100 shoes to be a baller!

sorry my last post was so T_T.  I am definitely ^_^ now!  .. it was just one of those funks.

yesterday, i was cold, tired, and blah.  now i am warm, rested, and happy.  when i'm happy, i get chatty.  (<-- warning)

being at home in the garden state, i feel inclined to quote andrew largeman:

you know that point in your life when you realize that the house you grew up in isn't really your home anymore... all of a sudden, even though you have some place to put your shit, that idea of home is gone... or maybe its like this rite of passage... you will never have that feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, for your kids, for the family you start.  it's like a cycle or something.  maybe that's all family really is: a group of people that miss the same imaginary place.

hmm.  last year, i thought this had already happened.  that was premature - i was just too eager  & caught up in my newfound freedom.  it's so much more than "a place to put my shit" (which there is increasingly less space for o.O).  i'm really lucky to be able to go home on a whim, its therapy has done wonders for me this weekend.  tragically, i know 28 frederick place will one day lose this magic, but for right now... i'm realizing that leaving home for four months next semester won't be as easy as i've made it out to be in my mind.  i know i will change.  i know what i think about home as well as the city and most else will change.  how so?  i guess i'll find out.  i'm ready for that, but still...

... and as far as my future idea of home is concerned, i am thinking it will be no where near the tri-state area - but that's another story.  i'll get back to you when i figure out the perfect place to raise kids.

Speaking of kids, check out my brother's latest facebook picture:

gosh, i am so 80s.  but i guess because it WAS the 80s, that is okay (but that doesn't excuse the awkward grin).  we were looking through old albums tonight (adorable mcdorableson!).  this is most likely a sideways attempt for him to get girls to comment on how "cute" he is, but i shall go ahead and ignore that haha.  

anywho, this kid prides himself on his shoe collection, so i was shocked to find out his latest pair were only $15.  stephen marbury has apparently tried to put out a line of good looking sneakers that don't cost mad $$$ so young kids with less money don't feel like they have to spend a fortune to look supa fly.  the real deal maker though - marbury wears them while playing!  i don't know much about him, but i'm pretty sure he has earned my respect.

do you ever get the fear that your perfect verse is just a lie you tell yourself to help you get by?

My peripheral vision is not the only thing I've been lacking  the past few days when I'm making my way around covered in my obnoxiously large, furry hood.  With my hands tucked deep into my pockets and my jacket zipped straight to the throat, I can't help but feel something is missing as I collide with unfamiliar pedestrians and thoughts.  

I've lost the ability to see what's around me.

I wish I could see in all directions at the same time, but I've found my traveling feet are no longer accompanied with "happy" thoughts and instead, with each step, negativity consumes me further and it's all I see.  Don't ask me what's wrong because I'm fine.  The problem lies not within my life, but my perspective.  What's happening to me?  This is not me.  I don't like this.  Normally, everything bad melts effortlessly away as I saunter on my own through the streets, but lately this solitude that used to serve as way for me to amplify the city's magic in my heart is doing just the opposite - giving me an opportunity to focus on everything wrong.

I need to feel endless possibilities, gratitude, and wonder echoed in every footstep again.

i live like a hermit in my own head

but when the sun shines again, 

i'll pull the curtains and blinds to let the light in

broken

when glass falls, it happens in slow motion.. so you have enough time to think about how much it is going to suck before it actually happens.  sort of like falling yourself.  i would know.

hm.  funny how a brief, physical fall seems drawn out long enough to notice every trivial detail, and a prolonged fall often goes unnoticed until you hit the ground.. hard.

--

FUN FACT:

ok, so old bridge metal militia, the group of die hard metal heads that used to let bands like metallica and slayer crash at their pads when birch hill was still a venue apparently inspired some songs.  HA.

here are some choice lyrics from "knights of old bridge"

..

beyond the realms of mortal men

the knights of old bridge stand

old bridge, we live for thee

old bridge, we die for thee

give me old bridge or give me death

...

i smell a local anthem!

..sike.

--

now playing: "lady" - regina spektor (the outro = mhhm)

lady lights a cigarette

puffs away, and winter comes

and she forgets...

--

*sweeps shattered glass*

floating upon this surface for the birds

currently frequenting: "talk show host" by radiohead

you want me?  fucking well come and find me, i'll be waiting

---

I've always shopped at Blick, so tonight's trip to Pearl Paint in Chinatown has exposed me to a place of my wildest fantasies.  It is approximately a bagillion floors and has evvvuhreeethang!

Okay, maybe not everything.  My wildest fantasy would really be something like this:

- The ground floor would feature organic fair trade gourmet coffees, teas, and every dessert you could possibly imagine prepared fresh with the best ingredients.

- A basement level would be filled with every art supply you could ever need available for purchase.

- A spiral staircase would lead you to the upstairs.   Here you'll find several large rooms, each with their own individual vibe.  After picking a room, you'd feel the distinct energy as you entered and took in the music and enhancements.  Each room would incorporate couches, easels, tables, desks, chairs, etc. - anything people needed to think, study, create, or chill.

I'd be there errr day.

---

P.S. - Clay still irks me.  I'm so thankful it's an "abstract" class.  However, I just finished my "coil method" project (aka my blippity bloop)... its about as tall as my torso and I'm at a total loss on how to glaze (paint) it.  Help me pass ceramics - look at this camera phone picture and give me ANY ideas, or even if a color jumps at you.  Please?  It'd be greatly appreciated if you let me bounce ideas off of YOU =)